I am a planner. I have a to-do list for each day of the week. My grocery lists are organized by store aisle. My Backpacker magazines from the past 3 years are in order by date for quick reference. I can almost always tell you the time of day within 5 minutes without looking at a clock. I know where I’m going, what I’m doing and what I’m going to do next at all times. Sometimes I think my life would be perfect if God would just stop overriding me.
Over the years, I’ve noticed something. God’s plans start with “I’ll never…”. As in, “When I grow up, I’ll never live in the Santiam Canyon. It is the gloomiest, creepiest place in Oregon.” Or, “I’ll never be a stay-at-home mom!” Or, “I’ll never get married, and especially not young. It just makes people miserable.” Those were all good plans. Really good ones, in my opinion. But God overrode all of them. I live in Lyons, the heart of the Santiam Canyon. Not only am I a stay-at-home mom, but I am a stay-at-home mom with no car of my own. And what age was I when I took the plunge into this crazy, wonderful thing called marriage? 19. So much for never!
I’m pretty sure shaking up my order and my planning is God’s way of drawing me closer to him. If it wasn’t for the earthquakes he’s wrecked on my plans, I could happily go through life thinking I had it all under control. Which, of course, I don’t. Not even close! But that doesn’t stop me from thinking I do! I could really convince myself that I was orchestrating everything just perfectly. Because I am so smart and talented. And I deserve a major pat on the back for all the wonderful things I accomplished all on my own.
Oh wait, here comes another earthquake to bring me back down to reality. I NEED God. I’m not in control of anything. His plan is better than mine, even when I don’t understand it! I can’t do anything at all without him, in fact. So when my world crumbles, as it inevitably will again, I know it’s God’s way of saying, “I love you, and I want you to be close to me!”. After all, he knows how much I like adventure!
Everything is going according to plan. Just not mine! Thank goodness!
